


Ethan never wanted this

by CupcakeGirlA



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha twins - Freeform, Character Study, Dethan, M/M, alpha pack, ethan/danny - Freeform, reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 12:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CupcakeGirlA/pseuds/CupcakeGirlA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ethan never wanted this. He never wanted to become this. He knows he’s not innocent. He goes along with what Deucalion wants. He does what he’s told. And the reasons behind it aren’t an excuse. But he doesn’t know what to do differently. He doesn’t know how to fix it. Not without losing everything he holds dear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ethan never wanted this

Ethan never wanted this. He never wanted to become this. He knows he’s not innocent. He goes along with what Deucalion wants. He does what he’s told. And the reasons behind it aren’t an excuse. But he doesn’t know what to do differently. He doesn’t know how to fix it. Not without losing everything he holds dear. 

Ethan’s the younger twin, the slightly shorter, slightly smaller one. Aiden’s always been bigger, bolder. Even when they’d been born, Aiden had been fine, came out of their mother screaming his head off, loud and defiant. Ethan had come second. He’d been weaker, smaller, quiet, and sickly. There’d been a few days where they weren’t sure Ethan would make it, werewolf or not. But he’d survived. He’d lived. And he grew tall and strong. But Aiden had always been taller and stronger. He’d been Ethan’s protector, but also his ruler. Because Aiden made a lot of the decisions, not all of them, but a lot. Again, it’s no excuse. 

Ethan had been 13 when Deucalion had come to their pack. Their father had been an intimidating alpha, mean and steely in public. But he’d had loyalty to their mother, and to his two sons. Just not, apparently, to the rest of his pack. He’d jumped at the opportunity to become stronger. Killing off one beta after another to make himself fit to join the Alpha pack. But the power changed him. It made him hungry for other things. More power, more violence. Their mother had tried to stop him, afraid he’d kill her and the boys next. She’d been right. He’d killed her in a fit of anger. He’d regretted it later, when he came down from the rush of power it brought him. He’d sobbed over her limp body, begged his sons to forgive him. Aiden had trembled with fury, but Ethan had sat numb, watching his mother grow pale and cold. Ethan had known what Aiden was going to do. He always knew what his brother was going to do. He’d have probably been able to stop Aiden, if he’d really wanted too. But some part of him had wanted his father to pay. So he didn’t stop him. He sat back and watched his brother slash his own father’s throat. His father had been asleep, didn’t even put up a fight. He never stood a chance. 

Deucalion had laughed when he returned. There was Aiden, a 13 year old alpha, already strumming with more power than most alpha’s ever hold, and Ethan, his twin, smaller and weaker, his last remaining beta. He’d taken them both, sure they’d come in handy someday. Kali and Ennis had already been a part of the pack. And they’d accepted the two of them as adorable little brothers. They’d earned the packs respect, eventually. Deucalion found an alpha for Ethan, a newly changed hunter who’d hunted down and killed the were who had bit him. It had been easy, and Ethan had justified it with the knowledge that he was a hunter, a killer. He was the type of human he’d been taught to hate and fear his whole life. 

It became easier and easier after the first. Somehow Ethan was always able to justify the deaths. They were enemies, dangerous to the pack. He’d already lost one pack, he couldn’t lose another. When they discovered that he and Aiden could merge… it made things even easier. Aiden merges into him. But it makes Ethan just the body. Aiden is the dominant half. He always had been. He pushes his way in and he takes control. It takes a lot of the agency out of the murders they commit that way. And even if he is an alpha, he still has an alpha he answers too… Deucalion. 

It’s not until Beacon Hills that Ethan starts to doubt. Deucalion is scared, scared and hiding things from the rest of them. There’s some other reason they’re here, and it’s not just Derek Hale. They’re investing too much time, too much energy into trying to turn him. Usually they’d have given up by now, they’d have done a lot of damage, left their mark, and moved on. And there’s something about Scott McCall that makes Ethan jumpy. 

Ethan likes Beacon Hills. He likes the forest and the vague remoteness of the town, the way his wolf reacts to the moon here. He even likes the high school. Though it does suck to have to repeat Junior year again. But it’s easier to get close to McCall’s pack that way, and to Hale’s. 

And then there’s Danny, who is sweet, and smart, and funny. He’s quick-witted and handsome and so human it almost hurts to touch him. He’s been told to get close to him, to worm his way into his life, and he does. But he does it for himself as much as he does it for the pack. Danny makes him feel things. Things no one else has before. Danny’s the first person he’s ever been tempted to turn. He’d make an amazing werewolf, and Ethan finds himself daydreaming about everything they could accomplish together. And his dreams are so different from the ones he’s let Deucalion feed him. No more power games or war or violence. It’s a heady dream. A dangerous dream. 

And then Ennis and Hale get hurt and everything goes to shit. 

Ennis dies and suddenly Kali is out for blood, and it doesn’t matter that Scott and his gang of mismatched teens saved Ethan’s life. That Scott’s mother the nurse saved Danny’s. Suddenly it’s just about revenge and forcing Derek’s hand. Ethan goes to Derek’s house that night. He helps Aiden hold his new English teacher captive. Then helps Aiden hold Derek down, forcing him to kill Boyd. And he hates it. He hates doing it. Hates that he doesn’t feel like he has a choice. That he’s bound and forced into it as much as Hale is. 

He feels his face fall, watches Boyd crumple into Hale’s arms and suddenly Ethan doesn’t know why they’re doing this. Derek will never be loyal to them. They’ll never be able to trust him. His joining won’t replace Ennis, and killing him back won’t avenge him. So what’s the fucking point? Why continue to kill off these kids, none of them turned even a year yet? Why do any of it? 

Ethan doesn’t know the answers to those questions and Aiden watches him with new suspicion when he brings them up. He yanks him close with a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in until their foreheads are pressed together. 

“Stop thinking, Ethan. It won’t accomplish anything. This is our life. This is what we are meant to do with our gifts. This is our purpose. Stop questioning.” He squeezes the back of Ethan’s neck, tightening until it physically hurts. “Have I ever steered us wrong?” he asks. Ethan shakes his head. 

“No. Of course not,” he whispers in reply. Aiden grins. 

“Good, I’ll see you later. I got a hot date with Lydia,” he says bouncing his eyebrows and releasing his grip. Ethan watches him snatch up his helmet and jacket, leaving their motel room without a second glance. 

All Ethan can do is slump to sit on the edge of his bed and try to breathe calmly and evenly. His phone buzzing with a text from Danny is the only thing to break the silence.

**Author's Note:**

> This was in my head at night for a whole week until I finally just wrote it. I know a lot of it's speculative, and I was conscious not to excuse the shit the twins do. I just wanted to explore the idea that Ethan might be conflicted about what he does as part of the alpha pack. Might regret it. I'm sure canon will discount the back story completely in the next few episodes. But it was fun to write either way.
> 
> Thanks to Beth for the encouragement. 
> 
> This is slightly altered from the version that was posted on my tumblr @cupcakegirla


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